Codependency is created when we are expecting our beloved to meet our own needs.
I’m hands down guilty of playing this out in past relationships.
I was focusing on the other person turning up in the particular ways that I wanted them to,
In the ways I thought they “should” be showing up for me and when they didn’t or just plain couldn’t, I dropped into big cycles of complaint, because they weren’t able to “meet me”.
I was so focused on an outside source meeting my needs,
That I completely missed and didn’t see that it’s my job to meet my own needs.
What a juicy revelation 🗝🗝🗝
The power shift that happened in that moment was like the tension from a rubber band unwinding.
Parts of the puzzle re-orientating themselves into a totally new configuration
Oh gawd, that felt so deeply fucking relieving ✨✨✨
The words “right relation” were born for me
Being in right relation to self
Right relation to others
It was quite simply life changing.
I am responsible to meet my own needs.
Wow, that’s a completely new ballpark.
That means Im fully the creator of my life
Keeping the focus on myself
Showing up for myself
That’s another whole dimension to self regulating I can love
And what that means for my beloved
Is that I can just allow him to be himself
In his own way
At his own pace
Doin his own thing
Fuckkkkkk - RESPECT! 💯
I’m not responsible for his needs
Im handing him back his power
For him to meet himself and his own needs
Coming back to self
The pressure is off......
Now asking for support and help lands clear
We can hear each other
Not running all that expectation and entitlement underneath
That noise & distortion has fallen away 🙏🙏🙏
Right relation with myself = right relation with others ❤️❤️❤️